The Knee -A (silly) Pain that Will Not Be Easily Forgotten (part 2)

As promised, I shall share with you the story of my "Darth Vader" scar, as I like to call it. Enjoy :)

It was the first real day of summer after sixth grade, and who doesn't want to celebrate graduating elementary school? (Oh what I wouldn't give to go back... how could you look forward to the gloom of middle school?) Not to long before that, my brother Blake moved out and we removed the carpet in his room. His old room is across from my old room, and in between there is the wood floor of the hallway. Since we ripped out the carpet, there was a bit of an edge where the doorway was. Nothing big, but you could easily stumble over it.

When he moved out, we relocated some of the spare computers we had to his old room so we could actually use them. And with the cement floor, I thought it sounded awesome to blast music in there! My brothers and my parents were out fixing up the duplex so a different brother, Trevor, could move into it with his wife. Thus, no one was home. I could rock out as loud as I wanted to.

If you read my previous post, you are aware that my friend Maddy was present when I shattered my tooth. Well, she is kind of my bad luck charm or something. Because I decided to invite her over so we celebrate together. We sang many a song, but after a while, it got old. We thought it'd be legit to spice things up and get out the strobe light we had in the closet. Dance around in the flashing light that seems to freeze time. Heck yeah!

We got out the dusty old thing, and set it up. We had waaaay too much fun. But we thought we would invite over another friend to make it a mad dance party. Our dear friend Matthew to be exact. But he would take a while to get to my house, for he had to walk. So we continued our fun.

We then heard ominous footsteps up stairs. My brother Colton came home, and came down stairs, asking us what the heck we were doing. We just laughed and explained how bored we were and how much fun we were having. So he left us alone... For a short while.

Not long after, he came back with is air soft gun, and chased us all over the house. He didn't actually shoot us, but it was still frightening. We ran back downstairs to the room we had been partying in, and turned off the normal light, but the strobe light stayed on. We hid in the closet, knowing he would probably find us, but it was the only option we had left!

Slowly he crept down the hallway... and you could hear each step echo. Sitting in the dark, your heart begins to race! It was like a horror movie! He went into my room, came back out, and came into the room where we were hiding. He walked up to the closet and paused dramatically. Suddenly, he opened the closet door, and I booked it out of there as fast as I could! Yeah, disaster waiting to happen.

I ran out, but the strobe light was on. I couldn't see what I was doing very well. And little did I know my tiny dog was in the room too. The light flashed, and I saw him just in time to try to jump over him... Somehow I stumbled in the process...

WHAM!!

My knee slammed head on into that dull ledge of the wood floor in the hallway. I let out a banshee scream and my brother freaked out. He rushed and turned on the light, just in time for me to see the skin separate and gush blood. I let out another very loud scream, as you can imagine. Quickly, I grabbed around my my knee not touching the cut and just sat there freaking out. He scooped me up and we went upstairs where we wrapped it in toilet paper and one of those sports wraps to try and stop the bleeding.

During this time, Matthew showed up at the door. He was a bit confused to see me on the couch with tears streaming down my face and my leg slightly purplish-blue from the lack of circulation it waws receiving (my brother wrapped it really tight). They sat and laughed while my brother re-wrapped it. Thanks a lot guys :P

So we called my parents and told them I needed Trevor, who worked at the hospital as an EMT, to come check it out and see how bad it was. It took a while, but eventually they showed up. He said I needed stitches for sure, so off we went to the urgent care. It took them like 2 hours to get me back, because they never gave us the stupid paper work... By that time, I just wanted to get it done and over with. The lady asked how it happened, and I just kinda laughed while I tried to explain how I managed to split my knee open by falling on a wood floor. She was extremely confused, and stopped asking questions. Then injected my knee with some weird stuff that made it go all cool and numb. But it only got weirder from there. When they started to sew me up, I could feel the thread go through my skin, like I could feel it tug, but I couldn't feel the pain. Sooo trippy.

Eventually it was done. I received 12 stitches, and my knee looked like a baseball for a while; A very prune-like baseball. Yumm....

I couldn't run or swim for the first two weeks of summer, so instead I sat in front of the TV and played twilight princess with a tub of peanut butter and a spoon by my side. It was pretty epic. At least I beat the game, right?

And now, the scar looks kind of like Darth Vader's breathing vent when I squish it all together. I often draw faces on it and laugh. :)

A (silly) Pain that Will Not Be Easily Forgotten- Part 1

Today, I remembered how much I love the scar on my knee, and my front tooth with a funny line across it (if you look close enough). Oh how much I love the stupid ways I received these battle wounds. It just further proves that I am ridiculous. I think you will enjoy these stories of humorous pain. So today I share with you the story of the shattered tooth. Tomorrow, you will receive the story of the silly scar on my knee.

It was finally the weekend, something which I had looked forward to as a innocent 4th grader (I think...). I suppose any kid looks forward to the weekend, but that's beside the point. My friend Maddy came home with me from school, and we were so excited to finally hang out and have a sleep over! We ran in the house and got some food, snack foods that made my hands all covered in yummy stuff. So I went into the bathroom to wash away this yummy powdery goodness off my hands. Just as I finished washing them, before I had a chance to dry them off, I had the urge to sneeze. But who wants to cover there mouth with wet hands you just washed? So I turned my body to sneeze away from the counter tile.

BAM!

At least, that's what I thought. For those of you who don't know, my sneezes can be rather violent. Not to mention that the average sneeze can travel at up to 100 miles per hour. That doesn't exactly mean that my body was moving that fast, but it sure had a lot of force moving it towards the tile counter. Because half of my tooth was SHATTERED.

If you've never chipped or broken a tooth, you can't exactly relate to the shooting pain that it brings you. Having a chipped tooth is painful enough. But it only adds to it when you look in the mirror to see that half of your tooth is gone, and you can see pieces of it obliterated on the counter. It adds that metal factor of "OH MY GOSH... OH MY GOSH... OH MY GOSH!!!!"

So I come out of the bathroom crying so hard I can even think about talking. Also consider that the tooth was so sensitive to the air that I couldn't have spoken even if I wasn't shedding mass amounts of tears. My friend sees me bawling for no apparent reason and seems really confused. I run out to my mom, who is still in the car, and try to explain to her what happened, but she couldn't understand me. I just simply opened my mouth and she sort of understood.

We went back inside, and tried calling my dentist. But of course, he doesn't work on Fridays. So we had to find another dentist to try and fix it. Eventually we did, so we took my friend back home and off I went to the office to get my tooth repaired.

Trying to tell that story to a dentist is a bit odd. I can only imagine how hard it was for that man to not laugh. But luckily he got the job done and I went back out with a new tooth. But you can still see where the line is if you look close enough at my teeth. Good story eh?

Am I Who People Think I Am?

I'm always crazy and optimistic and (very) loud. Why Do I have friends? Sometimes I ask this as kind of a joke, but I mean really. What in the world to people find "attractive" when they see me act like an idiot in public?

I'm pretty sure I surpass insanity, and I have got to be annoying. Definitely awkward. I make stupid noises a lot. I tend to scream or panic for fear of being put into a choke hold (which has happened multiple times today) or other such things. The sad part is that I'm not always like that. Even though I'm sure that's what everyone sees me as, I can be quite calm.

In fact, I prefer to be calm. Almost all of the music I listen to is very calm and relaxing, and music says a lot about a person if you ask me. I just feel that I can't be chill and calm when I am surrounded by lots of people. This is why I like one on one time. Or very small groups.

I am capable of holding a real conversation without awkward moments. Without stupid noises, without stumbling over all my words. In fact, I love having real conversations in person. I love getting to know someone on a personal level. I just don't like being in public and feeling the pressure of being funny and crazy and energetic all the time.

These days it seems that no one wants to be around someone who is chill. So someone different pops out. I become more social, even if it's not what I prefer. Because if I'm not, people assume I am feeling down, or I am angry or things like that. I don't see what's wrong with someone who just wants to listen. I can be fun without being crazy, but I feel like that's not what people want.

This all sounds much more dramatic than it actually is. I'm not hating on myself, or saying I don't love my friends who are already better than I deserve or that I am not ever myself, or that I am extremely unhappy with my life and I am emo.

I just want to find someone that doesn't have to ask me if anything is wrong, because they can tell the difference between negative emotions and just wanting to be calm. They know that in either case, I can always use a hug. They know when all else fails, giving me a good smile and a chill conversation will settle my nerves. They know I'd love to laugh with them about things. They don't care if I just collapse on their shoulder and stay there. We could lie on the floor or on a bed or on the couches or in the grass and just talk. We could stuff our faces with yummy food and not worry about being polite; steal each other's food without asking, talk with your mouth full if you have something to say. But I still want someone who knows when it's important to be serious and polite. I guess you could say I want someone who honestly admires me for who I am at heart, not how I act around others. Whether that be a friend or someone who means something more, I just want that human connection.

I hope someone will see that soon. I feel a little lost right now, I just want someone who can help me to feel more myself again.

Or maybe I'm just being a girl. Whatever. I need to cut this out.

With love,
Tom

Energy Dangerously Low!

Mmm... Today was not my day. Yeah, not so much.

I woke up somewhat sleep deprived, thanks to the break and my terrible sleeping habits. And I also found that I have plantar fasciitis (an annoying constant pain in the heal of your foot, which stays there for how ever long it pleases, and I've heard gets worse with time). To add to the not so wonderful morning, I had to say good bye to my brother, because he and his family left this morning to go back to Arizona. I'm not a fan of saying good bye. All in all, the morning wasn't so great.

School was meh. It felt unusually dream like. Mostly because I had to think about the audition all day. Which, when the time came, I had the urge to say "FUDGE!!" Really loud after all my mistakes. Like sight reading only the first line of the page. Then waiting for him to tell me to move on, and realizing that he expected the whole song to be played. FAIL. Haha I think it's rather comical actually.

But my friends made the day feel a lot better. Most of them told me that things would be alright, and that they screwed up too. Or just gave me really big hugs and told me things that make the day better. Yay good friends!

And for a treat, I share with you the song that kind of expresses my mood today. Gotta love that Final Fantasy 6 music, it always has the balance of emotion that I need to give myself sometimes.

Better When Left in Dreams

Yeah, it sounds a little... emo. But it's poetry. That's what 90% of it is. Hope you enjoy it anyway :)

Better When Left in Dreams

I thought out all of the chances,
The plans I knew would never come true;
My silly and classical days dreams of you.

But I regret second glances,
I'm relying on memories and thoughts I have saved
That constantly remind me of the proper way to behave.

How naively can I continue to act?
Under what pressure will my barrier snap?

While my emotions run ramped,
I remind myself to think,
What kind of person pushes their own sanity to the brink?

What kind of cause is worth pain to the heart?
Of what value is it when you know you must eventually part?

Reality leaves me no sweet song to sing,
And I realize that it's all better when left in dreams.

I Had a (really weird and messed up) Dream

So last night, I had a really odd dream. That isn't unusual for me, but I have no idea where this one came from...

Well, I was driving with some friends from marching band to California, where we were all going to meet up with the rest of the marching band and do some performances. But before we had a real on the field performance, we decided to go to some creepy, knock off Disneyland place.

I thought we still had a while to drive, so I decided to brush my teeth... in the car...? Then we went through a tunnel, but while in the tunnel, the car transformed into a roller coaster car and we began to shoot straight up, like Wicked at lagoon. We went through the entire roller coaster, and I had tooth paste foam all over my face, and on part of the track. I wasn't exactly trilled. Nor were the janitors.

Once we got off the roller coaster, I saw a good chunk of the band in uniform playing pep band music for the line of people waiting in line, with the drum major conducing and everything. Needless to say, I was confused as to why everyone was already there, and why we were playing for a roller coaster line.

Then randomly the dream skipped to the performance. But it was at the beginning of the new season instead of at the end. I guess everyone learned the new show charts and music and choreography while we were driving there. Except me.

The stadium was full, like a freakin superbowl game. Becca had given me a spot on the field, even though I had no idea what I was doing. She said to just go out there and try to match everyone else. Yeah... that doesn't work. So I go out there, expecting to at least have a flag or something so I can at least pretend to know what I am doing, but no. Because for some random reason, we decided to do a hip hop show. How you play hip hop music in marching band, I don't know. But we did.

I can't dance hip hop. Scratch that. I can't dance in general. But I am really bad at hip hop.

Half way through the song, I am out there dancing like an idiot, when I realize that all the color guard went off the field. A superbowl sized audience watched me screw up big time. And when I booked it back to the side line where the rest of the girls were, I found that my friend was filming me the whole time. I wasn't happy. And everyone else was laughing.

So the moral of the story is...

Don't brush your teeth in the car, and don't do a hip hop marching band show. No good will come of it.

Clean Slate

New Years... A time for resolutions. I have never really tried to make new years resolutions, but why not try? It's supposed to be a time of starting fresh. And heaven knows I need a fresh start. Really badly. Will I stick to all of these? Probably not, but heck, I'm going to try.

1. Try to be patient with myself.
2. Finish the things I start- All the way through.
3. Stop letting my parents down.
4. Spend time and become good at something.
5. Stop texting and facebooking so much, I want to start talking on the phone or in person instead. Sure, it's more awkward, but it totally builds real friendships.
6. Actually study and strive to learn instead of just going for a grade.
7. Always be honest with how I feel.
8. Stop trying to get someone to notice me, and just be noticed for who I already am.
9. Don't trash talk anyone in anyway. Ever.
10. Go running or do some sort of exercise.
11. Stop being afraid of everything.
12. Try new foods, and try not to be picky.
13. Find a job.
14. Get new music.
15. Brighten someone's day.
16. Keep my room clean.
17. Orginize my thoughts.
18. Don't be confusing to others.
19. Stop being a sarcastic punk, unless they know me like that.
20. Ask someone on a date.

Let's make it a good year kids. It's time to shine. :)