If I've learned anything this year I've learned life doesn't get easier. It gets harder and harder until you have the weight of everything crushing you and leaving you breathless. Not in that tender cheesy loving breathlessness, but the kind you get when its cold outside and your airways constrict. Or when you fall off a kiddie slide and have the wind violently knocked out of you. It's not fun. And it hurts. And sometimes everyone makes it sound like if your airways cconstrict for long enough, you'll be able to breath better later. If you keep getting the wind knocked out of you, it will strengthen your lungs. Now I don't know if physiologically it would be te. But it doesn't seem right to me. You need to relax everything and to just be able to breath again. That's all I want. But it doesn't seem like I will be catching a breath any time soon.