Emotional Monster

Ever heard the song Waiting for the End by Linkin Park? Well my friend posted a version on her blog that I love love love. Like really love. It's almost sick how much I love it. I have listened to it at least 4 times every day, plut the 20 that times when I first heard it. Yeah. I cried listening to it at one point. Gosh that is lame. But true.

Here it is.


Anyway, on to my thoughts. They tie in with the song, promise.

Isn't it funny how you can hear the same music every day, and never pay attention to it? Then something happens and suddenly you hear those little lyrics that mean something more to you, or it seems like the songs that show how you feel are constantly playing? Yeah, I am going through that right now.

I'm not usually a softy who cries or junk like that, but I will admit I have shed some tears these past few days. Not full out crying, but like those little tears that come when you are frustrated or something just kinda hits you like a brick wall. (okay, if something litteraly hit you like a brick wall, I am sure you would be more than a little misty eyed. Just to clarify, it's figurative.)

Gah, I am just sick of these sad songs, so I go listen to my "I don't give a crap, I am gonna have a good time, gosh dang it!!" Music. Then, I want to be sad again. Geez. What kind of emotional monster have I turned into??

Oh, I know. This kind.

That's me! :D

Ah well, gotta let it sting sometimes right? Emotions make us human! Not monsters!

With love,
And lots of other emotions,
Tom

Little Wonders

"Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder,
Don't you know,
The hardest part is over,
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you,
In the end,
We will only just remember how it feels.

Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you,
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you,
And I don't mind,
If it's me you need to turn to,
We'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end."

-Little Wonders by Rob Thomas


This song is just the most hopeful song for me. Love it. So much. Every time I get stressed or feel like my emotions are all over the place, I now find myself humming and saying the lyrics in my head. The power of the sub-conscience is really something, eh?

I realize that I need to go find my little wonders in these small hours. Just like the song says (yes, I didn't post the chorus. Deal with it. Make it an excuse to go look it up). The past is in the past. But don't forget the past, because the past is our foundation. So hey! Let's be glad for what we got and look for those little wonders. I know I need to.

Love,
Tom

You break it, You buy it.

Yeah I was talking with my friend about being bought instead of being married, and randomly these basic buying rules came to my mind.

You break it, you buy it.
If you aren't satisfied within (insert amount of days here), return it for a full refund.
(insert number of months or years here) warranty!

So maybe this is how some people's minds work when it comes to relationships.

1. If you are broken, people are attracted to you. Or feel obligated to fix you.
2. People make a "commitment" and then back out when things aren't so easy any more to find someone new who is less "complicated"
3. People will stay together a certain amount of time to just test the "warranty"

This sounds awfully pesimistic, but hey! it could be true.

With love,
Tom

Cake is Really Just a Simplified Version of Life

When I turned nine, I really wanted a certain cake for my birthday. I wanted an ice cream cake. Not just any ice cream cake, but a Lord of the Rings one from Cold Stone. I had the flavor I wanted picked out in my head and everything. It was going to be perfect. I was so excited for my mom to bring it home that night! But, when she came home, I saw no Frodo or Sam on my cake. No Gandalf. Not even a few horses or orcs. I was horrified to see pink... Bright shades of pink and green. What I saw before me was no epic battle between good and evil in edible form. Instead, just the innocent face of none other than Strawberry Shortcake.

(note: The camera date is incorrect)

Of all the cakes she could have gotten me, she picked the one I honestly disliked. I would rather have had a generic happy birthday with no decorations. It was the complete opposite of the cake I wanted, in literally every way. It was the opposite flavor and style.

But you know what? That cake was still good. In fact, it was dang good. It still held my candles, it still make my stomach happy, and at the end of the day I was satisfied.

You know, sometimes you hope for things. You make silly little plans. You say to yourself that you know what you want and you wait for things to turn out like you want them to. Yeah, the cake analogy was a bit odd, but it seemed to simplify the concept.

"And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time"

Ain't that the truth? This has got to be one of my favorite lyrics of all time. It has stuck with me. It really is truth though. We can't make plans and expect them to always work. Things change. People change. And while we shouldn't stop planning, don't be discouraged when your course is changed. Yeah, sometimes it sucks... a whole lot. But maybe a different cake is what you need in your life.

With Love,
Tom