Monday, December 13, 2010

I could use a little more silver in my life.

Make new friends,
But keep the old,
One is silver
And the other is Gold.

You ever feel like you really need to make a new friend? Not because you don't love your old friends, but you feel like you should get to know someone new? I'm in that place right now. And I can't make friends naturally. It's not my strongest suit. I was much better at this in 1st grade when I could just instantly be friends with the person sitting next to me.

Well, lately I've been trying to make new good friends and crack out of my shell (yes, believe it or not I do have a shell. And it's probably much thicker than you'd assume, considering how often I say hello to people I hardly know. That is, in fact, me breaking out of my shell.) and I've found out quite a lot about how I interact socially around people I don't know so well.

1. I'm awkward. And not in the good way. I don't know what to say or how to make conversation without sounding like a complete fool 98% of the time. The other 2% is the time that I keep my mouth shut.

2. I worry that people will read too much into what I do or say. Which could go one of two ways. They do, or they don't even notice what I'm doing the whole time, which means they really don't care. Either way, it's a loss on my part.

3. I don't know if I should talk to them and initiate conversation or sit by passively and let them come to me. That is the worst thing for me. and if you are nervous to come talk to me... Chances are, I would love talking to you, no matter who you are, so just come talk to me, Dang it! I won't bite your head off. I swear.

4. While I will be very laid back and chill in conversation with people I'm comfortable with, I get crazy and probably obnoxious when I talk to people I'm trying to get to know. Which isn't the best impression to make, but I figure it's better than being silent. I get nervous, alright? It's my way of coping!

I begin to wonder, when talking to new people and attempting to make friends, what is the proper balance of things?

Things to take into consideration:
• If you are annoying them
• How often/much you talk to them
• How busy they are
• You don't want to seem invasive
• If you don't talk to them, do they think you are ignoring them?
• If what you're saying or doing could be taken as a form of flirtation?
• How badly you may or may not want to be their friend
• What kind of effort are you willing to put into a friendship
• What kind of friend you are looking for

The over all message of this post? I need to learn to make friends in a natural, not invasive way. Impossible? Maybe. Only time will tell.

1 comment:

McKann said...

Let's be friends.
Done and done.