Monday, December 20, 2010

It was one of those days...

Today was a rollercoaster of a day. That about sums it up. It was fine until after school. Then it was bad. Then it got better, so that's good. This isn't a super funny or happy post. It's just how my day went. So don't expect much humor.

I came home, and my mom was furious with me, because I hadn't cleaned the bathroom, which I told her I would do when I got home. She did it while I was at school for some reason, and then wanted to get mad at me. The fact that my room wasn't clean didn't help. Yes, I am completely at fault for all of this, and I was fine with that. But it's when she comes in while I'm cleaning and wants to argue with me that I get really upset.

She chews me out pretty good. And yes, I cry. I'm a wimp. I cry when my mom gets mad at me. Because I know I disappoint her, and I always do. I never get to say anything from my point of view either, which just adds to the mess. I sit there and cry because I have all these thoughts in my head that I can't say. Because she either gets super offended and defensive, or she tells me I'm wrong, or she twists my words into something they aren't. So I've learned to shut my mouth and just take whatever she dishes out. That's what kills me. I can never be honest and speak my mind.

I think this is where my love for honesty and an open mind stems from. I want it given to me straight, because I want to give it to someone else straight. People always claim they want honesty, but they only want positive honesty it seems. Like they have selective conditions. I think you can be genuinely honest without being brutal, it's called tact. Don't sound like a jerk when you say it, just say it carefully. Then everyone is happy!

Anyway, she said some things that really got to me so I just asked her to leave (yes, asked, not demanded. I even said please, in a nice tone, not like a brat) because I didn't want to say something I'd regret. After I got my room clean, I just listened to music and painted. And how much better I felt! I don't feel like I want to go to bed crying now. So I look forward to tomorrow, and hope it'll be a better day. Hopefully I can spend some time with some friends or something.

Love you guys, Good night :)

Till next time,


Nicole said...

I completely understand how you feel hon. Situations like that with parents are not fun. But I'm here if you need to talk.

...Whoa that sounded really....Oprahish....

Anyways, stay strong and love ya!

Hannah J. said...

Aww thanks Nicole/Oprah! You are a doll, I'm glad I have someone I can talk to. Same goes to you my dear :) Love ya!